I don't want to
“But I don’t want to.”
“All day I spend my days doing things I don’t want to do.”
“I can’t its too hard.”
These are all things I have heard from at least one of you lately.
And I get it, because I also have to do a lot of things I don’t want to do, or feel like its difficult to do. Really. If I were choosing how I could spend my time all day every day, I doubt I would choose laundry, vacuuming and scrubbing bathrooms. I doubt it. I would much rather read, go to lunch with friends, and plan vacations. (Or daydream about them, as I don’t really like the planning part.)
Such is the contradiction of adulthood. While you in theory can do what you want, you can’t actually just do what you want all the time.
And, truthfully, that is just how mortal life is. Maybe I have done you a disservice and accidentally let you spend too much of your time doing “whatever you wanted” too much. I don’t know. Delayed gratification and hard work are a lot harder to teach these days than say, in Little House on the Prairie. Adult hard work these days is probably more mental and mundane than physical.
But don’t let me discourage you from adulthood. Because even though there is a lot of the mundane, there is also a lot joy - much more deeply felt and appreciated joy than I ever anticipated. There was the hard labor (literally) of growing and birthing babies, but the joy of feeling my heart fill up with love and watching you grow and learn and delight us at every stage. There was the hard labor of schooling and training, and the joy of financial independence and a satisfying career. There is the work of preparing a home for guests, and the joy of enjoying good company. There is the work of building spiritual strength and serving others, and the joy of God’s love pouring into our lives.
All of these joys are much deeper than the superficial fun and fancy-free delight of childhood. Not to discount those experiences, at all. I have wanted to give you a fun and delightful childhood. But I also want to set you up for a life of real, meaningful, deep, joy. And that doesn’t come by doing “whatever we want” or avoiding hard and uncomfortable circumstances.
You have heard me say 1000 times, “avoiding hard things doesn’t make things easier.” And sometimes I need reminded of that myself. Like when I was trying to play a piano piece in an easier key and one of you (the one who could tell I changed keys) chimed in (somewhat tongue in cheek) “Mom, avoiding hard things doesn’t make things easier.”
The first of you will be flying the nest this year. I am so excited to see what life brings you. I know it can be nerve-wracking to think of the things that you will be responsible for, but I just want to give you assurance that being an adult is wonderful. There are so many good things to come. So much joy! So much love! So much goodness!
And you can get an ice cream cone in the middle of the day if you want.