God is there.
I know this.
However, it is only after a very hard thing do I learn and remember this.
Each of you sweet chibs (yes, C-H-I-B-S) of mine have taught me this eternal truth over the few years I’ve been able to be your mama:
…when I’m recovering from the miracle of birth, and the pediatrician, after examining your little, fresh, fragile body, walks into the room to inform me that “I’ve noticed something about her hips.”
…when reading scriptures with you at night, and realizing that you can actually read quite well, but that your eyes are struggling and straining to see the words on the page.
…when I’ve received the 47th phone call regarding your behavior from school, and not knowing what to do to help you.
…when, after finding out that “IT’S A GIRL!”, we also find out that your heart isn’t developing properly.
…when I know that my next step in life is to do something very hard.
…when I know that it will be a drastic change for each of you.
I know that God is there. I’ve seen His omnipotent hand in my life over the years. He sets life up exactly the way we need in order for us each to learn hard things. The confusion we feel and the trials we face will (I swear it) become the best lessons you can learn in this life. Please remember this. Let this principle be a guide for you as you struggle, as you succeed, and as you find simple joys. God is there.
Please remember this: look for God. Don’t shut Him out because you can’t see Him in the dumpster fires yet.
He knows.
He’s there.
He’s provided a mom and dad that will love and support you through it all. He’s provided siblings who will, not seriously, stay with me here, love and support you and be your very best friends. He’s given you a huge support system in the grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends that you have.
Most importantly, He has provided for YOU a Savior, Jesus Christ, who loves you more than anyone else can even imagine to - who knows where you are, what you feel, and what hurts. Because of Him, we can find joy. Because of Him we can find comfort. Because of him, the Spirit can prick our hearts with compassion and understanding beyond our own capabilities. Because of Him, we can reunite with our glorious perfected bodies to be with Him, with God and with me.
Then after all the joys and sorrows, triumphs and failures, loves and losses of this life are complete, you can sing praises with Enos, “And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in Him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father.”
Hallelujah!
I especially love when you talk about your next step being something that will be very hard. Next steps are so often hard. All the times, right? But then it's Easter. And even the parts of us that we thought died during all those hard next steps are resurrected. And not just "later" but as soon as we will let Jesus have them. Thank goodness. Hallelujah.